Make Sure It’s a Bon Voyage!

You plan and look forward to a summer vacation. Your vacation is going to be great! Or is it? Do you get back from your vacation only to be so overloaded that you feel like you need another one? You need to know Common Vacation Pitfalls before you leave!

Common Vacation Pitfalls:
Do you:
• Leave on your vacation the night you finish work?
• Leave really early the next morning?
• Feel completely frazzled and overwhelmed getting stuff done before you leave?

Leave a full day later!
You get a full day to pack and tie up loose ends like which neighbour is feeding the fish or taking in the mail. You can begin to unwind and you start your vacation in a relaxed fashion.

Do you:
• Stay on vacation until the very last minute?
• Jump right back into your daily routine?
• Have no time to unpack or even do laundry?

Come back a day early!
You get time to unpack, do the laundry, get groceries, thank the neighbours and slowly work your way back to your daily life.

Do you:
• Constantly check your emails and messages while on vacation?
• Bring work or projects with you?

Unplug and truly take a break!
You can leave an ‘out of office’ reply to your email. You can delegate work and projects that really need to get done to other people. You want to come back mentally refreshed and relaxed.

IF you really can’t break away completely then limit the time you are accessible from the office. Take one hour in the morning when you check email and phone calls. Then take a break for the rest of the day. Remember:

YOU ARE ON VACATION!

You need the rest and relaxation to keep you healthy – mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

When you get back to the office do you:
• Scramble to get caught up in the first two to three hours?
• Feel frustrated and overwhelmed when you can’t?

Plan a full day to catch up!
You’ll find it much easier to get caught up if you allow yourself a more realistic amount of time.

Enjoy your vacation!
Leave a day later, come back a day earlier. Leave work at the office if you can or limit your office time to an hour a day. You’ve planned your vacation; now make sure you and your family or friends actually enjoy your vacation – you deserve it!

Dear Lori,
I find I am always running around. I feel pressured to do a lot of things all the time. I work I have a husband, who complains I do give him anytime and we have three kids 15, 12 and 8. They are all involved in extra curricular activities. I don’t feel like I have a moment to enjoy my life let alone breathe. I try to be a good mother, but I feel chronically overwhelmed and tired, therefore I get snappy and lose my patience with the children and even my husband. Then I feel terrible for snapping at them. I feel like I am drowning in my over scheduled life and I haven’t a clue how to stop this merry-go -round that I seem to be on. I would appreciate any suggestions you have.

Bonkers in Philly

Dear Bonkers,
So many of my clients have the exact same issue as you. In today’s society, I feel women have set themselves up to be superwoman,and none of us are. It sounds like you keep a schedule of someone who needs to be superwoman in order to keep everything going. Here are some suggestions that might work for you. First of all, get a big calendar or make one for each month. Then have everyone sit down together and begin to fill in the calender with there activities and obligations. Once you have done this you have a concrete visual on how hectic things are and you can begin to look at this over scheduled month as a family. The next step is to begin to eliminate what doesn’t have to be done. Perhaps your children have too many extra curricular activities, take some time to look at how many activities each child has and how much time you are driving. Is there any of the activities that any of your children are willing to give-up? Perhaps next the next time you need to register the children they each pick one activity that they really want and that might help.In the meantime,perhaps you need to think about having your husband and you split the driving if possible or car pooling to lighten your load. I also want you to plug into the calendar once a week a be realistic about the time you can commit to, where you mark on the calendar mom time. This could be as little as a half an hour, but you need to schedule some down time for yourself. It is possible to do. You need to take some time for you, otherwise you are not going to be happy and that reflects in your behaviour towards your children and husband. In your mom time do something nice for yourself, go out meet a friend for coffee, go for a walk, or just curl up and read a book without interruptions. It’s is really about you taking some time to nourish yourself. Also, try to have a date night with your husband, ideally once a week but it is probably more realistic to start out once a month. Again mark it on the calendar and make the commitment to follow through, just as you would if it were a doctor’s appointment. Having a night where you and your husband can reconnect, do something, just the two of you will help both of you and keep your marriage healthy. With the schedule you are keeping you couldn’t possibly be paying much attention to your marriage. Marriages still need to be nurtured if you want them to succeed, so take some time to nurture yours. It will also remind you that you are in a partnership and you aren’t carrying the burden alone. Lastly talk to your husband and family tell them how you are feeling and see if they can come up with someways to help lighten the amount of responsibility you have. Your children are old enough o be helping out around the house, perhaps if they don’t already have chores it is time to give them some.
Remember Take Care of Yourself, You ARE Worth It!
Lori