Dear Lori,

I am a single father who would love to meet a nice woman and have a relationship with her. Everyone tells me what I nice guy I am, they even set me up on blind dates. The problem is I keep meeting people who aren’t together or nice. Is there something I could be doing wrong? Or are there just a lot of people out there who have are weird? Any ideas where I can meet someone nice who may want the same things out of life that I do?

Single and lonely

Dear Single and lonely,

First of all I sense your frustration at the type of people you are meeting. I don’t know what you are looking for in a woman. Have you ever discussed it with someone to see if your expectations are realistic? As well, have you given any thought to the concept that we create our own reality? More specifically we attract people into our lives for a reason. What is your reason for these types of women? Is there something you need to learn or look at in your own personality or history that you need to revise or clear up? As well, you mentioned you are a single father, what happened to the child’s mother? Does that have anything to do with why you aren’t meeting the right woman? Are you at peace with your previous relationship?

Having asked you these very important reflective questions, I would like to suggest that you give your friends some gentle but constructive feedback as to why the people they set you up with were not what you were looking for. As well, once you have thought about the questions above and feel more ready, try joining a group of something you like to do such as biking or yoga, whatever you enjoy you might meet someone more like minded. There is also internet dating, many people have had success with this have you consider this as a way to meet new women. I do believe you will meet the right person if you are clear within yourself as to what you are looking for and why you are attracting the wrong types of women for you. Once you figure that out, I have faith you will be in a much better position to meet the right woman.

Good Luck,

Lori

Dear Lori,

I am frustrated by my social life or lack of one. I try very hard to meet new people, perhaps even find a partner, but I must be doing something wrong because, I end up alone every week-end. Sitting in my apartment wondering what’s wrong with me. It wasn’t always like this. I use to have a life and a partner. When we broke up, most of the people I hung out with were my partner’s friends and I backed off from them it felt weird and uncomfortable. Since then I find I am alone. Do you think there is something wrong with me? Is there a pill or a course I can take to fix this?

Sincerely,

Lonely

Dear Lonely,

I can’t tell you if anything is wrong with you from this brief letter. I can tell you that I think you probably lack some self confidence. Try to figure out when you last felt confident about yourself? Did this break-up somehow diminish your confidence? If so, you need to focus on rebuilding it. Start by making a list of all the things you do well and keep the list going for a month, then post it in your room so you can see all the good things you are capable of doing. Next, you need to focus on your social skills. When you meet new people ask yourself if you are too shy perhaps. Or possibly you come on too strong which can make people move away from you. Try watching other people that seem to have a lot of friends and then compare how they act versus how you act. A great way to meet new people is to develop a hobby and join a group, team or a club. If no hobbies interests you, you might think about taking a course that appeals to you. All of these places are opportunities for you to get out of your apartment and maybe meet some new friends!

Good Luck and Stay Positive,

Lori